From: Frank Pfeffenheffer
Date: November 17, 2015 at 11:51:13 AM PST
To: Angie Denbar <[email protected]>, Synergetica Team <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Free Muffins and T-Shirts!
Angie,
Free muffins and t-shirts? Seriously?
I’m sorry, but I think it’s safe to say that this is incredibly underwhelming for the engineers. I don’t want to sound entitled here but I expect (and frankly deserve) more from Synergetica.
Those of us who started when this office had less than 15 employees remember when the perks were still appropriate for the work we were doing. Now…free muffins and t-shirts? Not even a hot breakfast?
The guys at Brickmueller Biotronics have a full buffet every morning. What is my motivation to stay at Synergetica if I have to make my own breakfast? And if the selection is limited to muffins, why can’t we get them from Celeste’s instead? You only order from the place that doesn’t do that sugar crumble thing on top.
Also, t-shirts? How is that even a perk? Why should I be excited about wearing an ad for Synergetica? It only benefits the company, and you’re spinning it like it’s some kind of reward. A t-shirt.
Oh, and they’re white. You expect me to eat a mediocre (in good conscience I can’t even call them “mushy”) Dutch chocolate muffin and NOT get stains on that shirt?
This whole thing seems poorly conceived and executed. The t-shirts look and feel terrible too.
And why are we limited to two shirts only? I have three cousins so I took three. I’m sure I’ll hear about it later because we never order enough even though Synergetica can obviously afford it.
To be frank: I feel like there’s no benefit to doing my job or coming to work anymore. Lunches used to be steak and sushi but now it’s always cold sandwiches, burritos, or pizza. WHAT HAPPENED TO LOBSTER FRIDAYS?
Our data plans are capped at 5 gigs? And HR is asking me to explain how my gas reimbursement requests are business-related? Honestly, if I have to pay for my own gas, that’s the last straw. Just because we have 100 employees now (half of which are in a call center) that doesn’t mean we have to treat our most talented veterans like interns. It didn’t use to be like this.
And don’t think I haven’t heard that this year’s holiday party is beer and wine only. If we can’t even scrounge together a 40 of vodka for a holiday party, why should I think we’ll have enough capital to ship version 2.0?
I’m concerned as an employee AND as a customer.
What’s next? Limited vacation?
Mark Pfeffenheffer
Principal Engineer, Product Architecture
Synergetica Systems, Inc. – “We Build Futures”
“Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly…” — Ronald Reagan
Louis is a Chicago-trained writer and comedian with beautiful hair, a pretty good face, and an abundance of modesty. With 10 years in technology and 15 in writing and producing comedy, his work can be read on www.cagematch.org, www.mcsweeneys.net, and numerous dismayed Facebook users’ walls (before being hastily deleted). He currently lives with his similarly gay boyfriend in the dystopian hellscape of Silicon Valley.
- “In Fairness, I Just Recently Learned What a ‘Woman’ Is”, by Travis Kalanick CEO of Uber - March 29, 2017
- Leaked: Donald Trump’s Meeting With His Business Advisory Council - February 9, 2017
- Prep-Meeting For The Meetings On-Boarding Meeting: Meeting Minutes - January 26, 2017
I LOVE lobster fridays 🙂
Perks. We all want more perks and the second that ANY company takes a little something away, workers are trying to figure out how they can get that one thing back.
Man I would hate to be the person sending out something like this as it gets posted online for all to see.
LOL, wow. That was a great read! I wonder what people are thinking when they start to write things like this.
If you are going to go for it, go ALL out and leave nothing on the table I guess!
The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that it isn’t about what people are thinking but more about what/who people *aren’t* thinking about.