From: Charisma Crawford
To: [email protected]
Subject: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:13 -0800
Hi Team,
Just a quick reminder that we are changing the API today so be sure to circle back with your appropriate internal and external clients to make sure this isn’t a surprise. We’d like this to go as smoothly as possible so that nobody has to work Christmas week. Thanks!
-Charisma Crawford
Software Distribution Manager
Peebo Inc.
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From: Rakesh Singh
To: AllEmployeesGroup_Global_Contractors_I[email protected], Charisma Crawford
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:15 -0800
Hello,
I am not sure I am supposed to be on this mailing list. Could the admin remove me please?
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From: Melissa Stephens
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:16 -0800
I’m on this list mistakenly as well. Remove please.
-M
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From: Charisma Crawford
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:19 -0800
Hi All,
This message was intended only for our mobile software development groups. My email decided to autofill the group address for every employee and contractor at the company. If you received the message in error, simply disregard. Sorry for the noise.
-Charisma Crawford
Software Distribution Manager
Peebo Inc.
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From: Richard D. Slattery
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:19 -0800
I do not work on anything that deals with an API I feel I received this message in error. Could someone contact the owner for this group remove me? I do not wish to receive any further notices regarding API work.
-Richard Dominic Slattery
Enterprise Sales
Peebo Inc.
“Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” -Arthur C. Clarke
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From: Chet Argent
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:21 -0800
Everyone please STOP using the “reply all” button when responding to this thread. You are spamming everyone in the company and all our contractors, also you are displaying a surprising amount of technological illiteracy by not understanding how email works. Just stop.
-C
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From: Richard D. Slattery
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:23 -0800
Excuse me, Chet, but how is that response helpful? I don’t think anyone appreciates your tone.
-Richard Dominic Slattery
Enterprise Sales
Peebo Inc.
“Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” -Arthur C. Clarke
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From: Beth Markenson
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:23 -0800
[Image: MichaelJacksonEatingPopcorn.gif]
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From: Gitanjali Kapoor
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:24 -0800
Hi All,
This is a cross-company, multi-partner mailing group. It was created after the most recent comms meeting as a way to deliver necessary information in case of the rare events like emergencies. Only then is it necessary to reach out to everyone associated with Peebo. You CANNOT be removed from this list as long as you are still employed or contracted by Peebo. Furthermore, no employee outside of our executive team should be using this mailing list. Under no circumstances should anyone reply all to this message.
-Gitanjali Kapoor
Human Resources Administrator
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From: Mark Knopfler
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:27 -0800
>>Under no circumstances should anyone reply all to this message
But you just did…
-Mark Knopfler
I.T. Systems and Technologies
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From: Chet Argent
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:30 -0800
How is replying all to this thread helpful, Richard? What do you even think you are accomplishing? How can you work here and not have a basic understanding of email?
-C
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From: Hyun Jae-Hyun
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:30 -0800
I don’t think I’m supposed to be receiving these messages. Please remove me from this list.
-Hyun
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From: Missy Krieger
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler, Hyun Jae-Hyun
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:35 -0800
┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻
-MK
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From: Gitanjali Kapoor
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler, Hyun Jae-Hyun, Missy Krieger
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:39 -0800
It is inappropriate to use this thread for any conversations that are not germane to the entire company. It is especially concerning that individuals continue to reply all with jokes and interpersonal disagreements. Don’t you see that using this mailing list for anything other than emergencies puts us all at risk?! STOP REPLYING ALL. You are spamming the executives!
-Gitanjali Kapoor
Human Resources Administrator
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From: Richard D. Slattery
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler, Hyun Jae-Hyun, Missy Krieger
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:40 -0800
I don’t appreciate being publicly reprimanded by you, Chet. YOU are contributing to the problem here. NOT ME. I’m trying to politely excuse myself from conversations that aren’t meant for me using channels that aren’t appropriate. It seems like YOU are the one not accomplishing anything, as clearly I have a basic understanding of email. IF I DIDN’T HOW COULD I EVEN SEND THIS MESSAGE?
-Richard Dominic Slattery
Enterprise Sales
Peebo Inc.
“Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” -Arthur C. Clarke
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From: Beth Markenson
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler, Hyun Jae-Hyun, Missy Krieger
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:42 -0800
OOH! SICK BURN!
[Image: SickBurn.gif]
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From: Greg Miller
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler, Hyun Jae-Hyun, Missy Krieger
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:43 -0800
Please remove me from this list.
Regards,
Greg Miller
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From: Cindy Carrington
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler, Hyun Jae-Hyun, Missy Krieger, Greg Miller
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:45 -0800
Why do people keep replying all? You cannot be removed from this list! Stop replying all. You must stop. It is unprofessional to keep replying all. Just don’t do it. Don’t reply all. The only thing that replying all will do is make it harder for Charisma’s team [MY TEAM] to have Christmas off.
-Cindy Carrington
Developer
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From: Gitanjali Kapoor
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler, Hyun Jae-Hyun, Missy Krieger, Greg Miller, Cindy Carrington
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:50 -0800
It is also inappropriate to refer to our time off in December as “Christmas.” We are working on an immersive and diverse team. The preferred term is “winter break.” Also, please stop replying all.
-Gitanjali Kapoor
Human Resources Administrator
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From: Chet Argent
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler, Hyun Jae-Hyun, Missy Krieger, Greg Miller, Cindy Carrington
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:53 -0800
Jesus Christ some people are dumb.
-C
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From: Richard D. Slattery
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler, Hyun Jae-Hyun, Missy Krieger, Greg Miller, Cindy Carrington
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:59 -0800
You know what? I’m really glad some of you keep using reply all. Now the whole company, including Gitanjali in HR, can see how unprofessional some of you behave on a daily basis. So keep it up guys. Keep spamming everyone and we’ll see who has the happiest holidays at Peebo. WE’LL SEE.
-Richard Dominic Slattery
Enterprise Sales
Peebo Inc.
“Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” -Arthur C. Clarke
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From: Kevin Peebo – CEO <[email protected]>
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler, Hyun Jae-Hyun, Missy Krieger, Greg Miller, Cindy Carrington
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 11:03 -0800
That’s enough. The next person to reply all to this thread will be immediately terminated.
Kevin Peebo
Chief Executive Officer
Peebo Inc.
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From: Jerry Sandoval
To: [email protected], Charisma Crawford, Rakesh Singh, Melissa Stephens, Richard D. Slattery, Chet Argent, Beth Markenson, Gitanjali Kapoor, Mark Knopfler, Hyun Jae-Hyun, Missy Krieger, Greg Miller, Cindy Carrington, Kevin Peebo – CEO <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: API Change
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2015 11:10 -0800
Please remove me from this mailing list. I believe I was added in error.
-Jerry Sandoval
Director of Communications
Peebo Inc.
Louis is a Chicago-trained writer and comedian with beautiful hair, a pretty good face, and an abundance of modesty. With 10 years in technology and 15 in writing and producing comedy, his work can be read on www.cagematch.org, www.mcsweeneys.net, and numerous dismayed Facebook users’ walls (before being hastily deleted). He currently lives with his similarly gay boyfriend in the dystopian hellscape of Silicon Valley.
- “In Fairness, I Just Recently Learned What a ‘Woman’ Is”, by Travis Kalanick CEO of Uber - March 29, 2017
- Leaked: Donald Trump’s Meeting With His Business Advisory Council - February 9, 2017
- Prep-Meeting For The Meetings On-Boarding Meeting: Meeting Minutes - January 26, 2017
Classic Louis. So good. So good.
This can happen to anyone with a work email account. I am thinking that it will end the same way that this one did and that includes someone getting fired 🙂
Still laughing at this. There are so many great lines to use.
Yeah, I am always a little excited to see threads like this. We get them once in a while where I work, but they are usually not this entertaining.
I’m fascinated by the hubris of “replying all to tell people to stop replying all”.
Hilarious!!! Louis, Great job on this. Still laughing.
Thanks!