Everybody please welcome the fresh new wave of Pokémontrepreneurs: Skype-Based Pokémon Go Tutors & Trainers.
Sorry, give me a minute. I just need to finish barfing.
Ok, I’m good. For now.
Over 30 million people have downloaded Pokémon Go, about 20 million of them are using it every single day, and just the ones with iPhones in the US are spending close to $2 million a day playing it. With numbers like that, there is an enormous opportunity for businesses of all shapes and sizes to piggyback on the game’s growing popularity and infinite geography to make some extra cash.
Some companies, like the ones we have covered on SnapMunk, are being quite creative, both drawing people to their existing operations and executing all kinds of integrations to enhance the appeal of those operations. Some people, however, just want to sit at their computer with their pants off hoping to skim cash from obsessed gamers whose heads are so far up a Bulbasaur’s brown-eye that they don’t have the good sense to spend their money on literally anything else.
Preply is a site that connects “students” with remote “tutors” via Skype sessions. For instance, users can find math tutors in New York for $5 to $75 per hour. They can also find a deep roster of English language tutors from Toronto, or French language tutors from Switzerland charging as low as $2 per hour and as high as $75 per hour.
Among the other “subjects” are “Chemistry,” “Law,” “Geometry,” “Music” and “Literature.” Now, there’s a new subject: Pokémon Go.
There seems to be about 7 trainers & tutors listed on this site, and who knows how many others sprinkled around sewer systems like Craigslist and Kijiji. The prices range from $10 per hour to $25 per hour, with experience levels hovering between 1 and 15 years.
Take for instance, Marko N., with the slogan, “Don’t be afraid to catch them all.” He’s been doing this for over a decade and has a total of zero reviews.
Given that he spends 5 hours a day catching Pokémon, has traveled the world twice and has a degree in English Language & Literature, he obviously holds the perfect qualifications to be a Guru in this domain. Don’t be disappointed if he doesn’t accept you as a disciple, though; true virtuosos like Marko are only accepting pupils between the ages of “Preschoolers (4-6)” and “Adults (40+)” with skill levels narrowly wedged inside the “Beginner” to “Proficiency” range.
Or if you want to go really high end, there are tutors like Jillian M. She’s based out of that part of New York that’s so trendy it has the exact same time zone as Kiev:
Or if you’re not easily intimidated, you could even hire a Pokémon Go Master. Much like the Master Sommelier designation, a post-graduate Master’s degree, or someone who has been arrested for Masturbating in public, the Pokémon Go Master accreditation is reserved for only the most dedicated and sophisticated contributors in the field.
If you choose to commission someone of such prominence, you even have the option to exchange Skype tutorials for them just doing all the shit for you while you’re “stuck at school”:
I know dogs hump in public, birds fly into windows and flies eat shit for brunch. But between the tentacles of the Pokémon Go craze and everything else that’s going on in the world right now, it’s hard to not be embarrassed on behalf of all humans.
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Feature image courtesy of http://www.businessinsider.co.id/
Ben is a Toronto-based writer and public speaker with more than a soft spot for 90s hip hop. He has spent over 10 years in business & tech, more than 20 in the arts, and an entire lifetime in a state of perpetual judgment (highly recommended). He is the author of the blogs This Is Your Brain on Dating and Love Gone Cray and can be found pontificating on Thought Catalog, Notable.ca, The Toronto Standard, Offline Magazine, Gasm.org and Huffington Post.
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I have to ask, why did you throw in that bit about tentacles? I only ask because if that is in regard to the ‘Tentacle Porn’ of Japan, you need to realize that it is nothing new and has a lot more relevance than you might think. It’s also confirmed to be a thing for over 200 years. You’re a writer. Do your research.
“the tentacles of the Pokémon Go craze”…
a. I had never heard of “Tentacle Porn” until you wrote the term here. I now know what it is.
b. I can’t seem to find anything connecting the two IN PRACTICE (though I can only imagine that there are some who would love to be molested by a Pokémon Go character)
c. You “ask” a question, and then answer the question (with an assumption apparently based on never having seen the term “tentacles” used to describe, ‘power or influence that reaches into many areas’), and then accuse me of not doing research in response to the conclusion reached from YOUR answer to YOUR “question”.
You’re a reader. Do your reading.
Sup Benji? You should come back to ATX to get the real hipster perspective.
Sometimes you have to wonder what priority people put on their buying things with their money.
The Pokemon thing is very viral, and these people are taking full advantage of it to teach others. There isn’t anything wrong with that…….well, maybe except for the fact that people are paying others to teach them a simple game.
Are… are you ok? Do you need to lie down somewhere? I can call someone.
Please do. But also, please ensure that they are a “Master”. My condition requires the utmost professionalism.
What a terrible an needlessly negative article,
If people want to spend money on needless stuff just let them, good for the people making some money off of this
Whoa. This is a great idea. The addiction is there and if there are people willing to pay for a service like this it WILL exist.
I am cool with this. I get that Pokemon Go is annoying to hear about, but these entrepreneurs are just the strongest of the bunch that can come up with a service on a whim to help others. They should be looked at as consultants for other businesses.